I am just ranting

throat sucks
head hurts
nose blocked
didnt finish my chinese mock paper today.
retaining is everything thats on my mind.
looks like until i'am prepared to give up everything i have, i wont resent to it.
Not like the school cares or anything..
Thought of oreintation again.
How utterly awkward would it be.
Looking at my peers a level above me.
seeing them graduate and i will be left all alone again.
cant be helped.
I asked for it.
I was always told to believe in miracles only and not to depend on one.
it seems like i will do whatever it takes to create a miracle now.
All that confidence, where is it now?
The fact that my mum's fine with it makes me feel worse.
Please i really need a miracle now.